This Just In: Earth Remains Habitable Despite Milk Served Alongside Espresso

Column: industry Tag: Espresso Published: 2016-06-22 13:58 Source: Author:

Some huge dumb nerve has been hit in the mainstream media following one woman’s reaction to being served a shot of espresso with milk on the side at a Melbourne, Australia-area roastery and café.

Of all the real horrors played out throughout the world on a daily basis, several popular news outlets have determined that the “deconstructed coffee” — a shot of espresso in one vessel with frothed milk on the side in another — served by a Melbourne coffee shop is, above all others, a signifier of society’s doom.

“In what might be the worst trend since chopping boards for plates or fry baskets for chips (which have been slowly chipping away at our souls for years), deconstructed coffee is here to destroy us once and for all,” Mashable reporter Johnny Lieu wrote in a commentary for Mashable.

Several hours later, UK Mirror reporter Nicola Oakley put her own unique spin on the controversy, writing, “From chips served in mini shopping trolleys to dinner being presented on a slate tile, restaurants and cafés are always coming up with new ways to ‘wow’ us — even when we don’t want to be wowed.”

Ok, so maybe it’s not just deconstructed coffee that’s destroying us; it’s also deep-fried-potato service.

The BBC News, which regularly reports on issues such as war, human trafficking and slavery, nuclear weapons proliferation, and climate change, was prompted by the story to ask, “Is it a coffee separated into its component parts, or a harbinger of humanity’s last days?”

What started all this ironic yet somehow also humorless nonsense was a social media post by an Australian media personality named Jamila Rizvi who took to the web to criticize the beverage offering put before her. “Sorry Melbourne but no. No no no no no,” she wrote. “Hipsterism has gone too far when your coffee comes deconstructed … I wanted a coffee. Not a science experiment. I prefer to drink my beverages out of crockery and not beakers.”

Source: Daily Coffee News